tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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