So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Let's get the cat blown out
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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