The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I think I just sharted jello shots
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
