I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
