I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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