I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
