8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
