Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize