Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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