Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
