She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm having to shit out rocks
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
