haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
