So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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