It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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