I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
