Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I supernannyed him into submission
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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