Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
