Soap is not a condiment
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
