Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
