5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
