Can i not drive my cunt home
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
