i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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