Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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