Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
