Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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