erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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