tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
