No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
