he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
