i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
