Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
