I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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