My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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