I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I would fuck him just for his dog
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
