I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
