If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize