is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
