His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
