Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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