I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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