was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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