You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
