I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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