Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
