Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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