They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
