Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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