If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
