is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
