It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
