I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Randomize
