they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
FUCK WHALES
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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