all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
