where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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