is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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