I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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