Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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