Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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