Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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