I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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