listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
