id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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