I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
