Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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