giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
