I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
