just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
