I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize