used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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