Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
