can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
i think my cat just said my name.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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