I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
