after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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