Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
