The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
