You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Bring me that man meat
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
