oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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