What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
